A Cure for the Common Conflict
Once upon a time, there was a church that was struggling with conflict. Different members supported different leaders. There was conflict over doctrine. There was conflict about the use of spiritual gifts. There was conflict about the message of Christian freedom. There was conflict about morality and about money. That church sought outside advice about how to deal with the conflict, and they received it from expert authority. Of course, you know the church I'm talking about, don't you? ...It's right here... in your New Testament. Please open your Bible to 1Corinthians 1, where we'll discover "A Cure for the Common Conflict."
1:1 ¶ Paul, called to be an apostle of Jesus Christ through the will of God, and Sosthenes our brother,With all the trouble they were having, we might be tempted to say this Corinthian church was pretty unhealthy.
2 To the church of God which is at Corinth, to those who are sanctified in Christ Jesus, called to be saints, with all who in every place call on the name of Jesus Christ our Lord, both theirs and ours:
3 Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.
4 I thank my God always concerning you for the grace of God which was given to you by Christ Jesus, 5 that you were enriched in everything by Him in all utterance and all knowledge, 6 even as the testimony of Christ was confirmed in you, 7 so that you come short in no gift, eagerly waiting for the revelation of our Lord Jesus Christ, 8 who will also confirm you to the end, that you may be blameless in the day of our Lord Jesus Christ.
9 God is faithful, by whom you were called into the fellowship of His Son, Jesus Christ our Lord.
10 Now I plead with you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment.
11 For it has been declared to me concerning you, my brethren, by those of Chloe’s household, that there are contentions among you. 12 Now I say this, that each of you says, “I am of Paul,” or “I am of Apollos,” or “I am of Cephas,” or “I am of Christ.” 13 Is Christ divided? Was Paul crucified for you? Or were you baptized in the name of Paul? 14 I thank God that I baptized none of you except Crispus and Gaius, 15 lest anyone should say that I had baptized in my own name. 16 Yes, I also baptized the household of Stephanas. Besides, I do not know whether I baptized any other. 17 For Christ did not send me to baptize, but to preach the gospel, not with wisdom of words, lest the cross of Christ should be made of no effect.
But that's not at all how Paul described them in his opening:
- He called them "the church of God at Corinth" - the representatives of God's kingdom in that first century mega city.
- He reminds them and us that these men and women are sanctified, or set apart to God through Jesus Christ, just like all who call upon the name of the Lord.
- He thanks God for the grace and gifts He has lavished on these people
- He knows that they were longing for the day of Christ's return.
- He knows that God will build them up all the way to the day of our Lord Jesus Christ
When we have a kingdom perspective like this, we can see that, even if we're experiencing conflict, our identity is not that we're sick. Our identity is that we are Christ's. They're not sick. They're saints.
Fact is, while everyone agrees that unity is sweet, it's still hard for Republicans and Democrats to see eye to eye. While everyone agrees peace in the mideast is important, It's still hard for Jews and Palestinians to see eye to eye. While everyone agrees that it's better to agree, It's still hard for you and me. That is, conflict is common.
In fact, conflict is inevitable. No matter where you go, you'll find conflict:
- At home between husbands and wives. (Amen?) The #1 complaint in divorce? Irreconcilable differences.
- Or between siblings, even adult siblings. [e.g. how to care for an aging parent]
- At work. [business strategy or cubicle size]
- Even at church. Maybe even in our church. We might find strong differences of opinion on the spectrum of matters like in 1 Corinthians: leader loyalty, doctrine, spiritual gifts, freedom...
Sometimes conflict can get out of hand.
- A man abuses his wife or his children.
- A senior adult turns curmudgeonly so that no one wants to be around him.
- A teen refuses to listen to all authority.
What do you do when conflict gets out of hand? That's exactly where the Corinthians were. It got so bad that some of the members finally appealed to outside help. There's something therapeutic about even just asking for help. When you want change enough that you're willing to risk asking for help, God can change you. If you're a Christian, that's what happened to you when you asked God to save you from your sins.
In verse 11, we see that Chloe's people sent a letter to Paul appealing for help to resolve the conflict in their church. According to the verse, there were "quarrels" among them. That's nice NIV-speak for fighting, arguments, bad feelings. Things were pretty bad. Doubtless, they got to where they dreaded going to church. (BTW, I find it interesting that there's no hint of a church split in Corinth. In our city we have hundreds of options. They had options too, but they remained faithful.)
So, if you feel you're in a conflict that's long-standing or out of control, ask for help.
How do we begin to cure conflict?
Make it priority #1. You can't ignore conflicts like these and go on with business as usual and just hope they go away. Resolving this conflict was so important to the apostle that, of all the things he could talk about, must talk about, eventually does talk about in this letter, healing the conflict in the church is the thing that must be done first and foremost. I'd even go so far as to say that everything Paul writes in this letter is intended to rebuild unity in that church.
And, dear Christians, that is God's call on our lives, too: to rebuild unity.
2 Corinthians 5:18 "God, who has reconciled us to Himself through Jesus Christ, ... has given us the ministry of reconciliation."
Matthew 5:24b “First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift."
The Law. Good doctrine. Exercising Spiritual gifts. It's all about loving God and loving our neighbor. Or, to use less worn-out words, it's all about devoting ourselves God and genuinely caring about our neighbor. That's reconciliation. Reconciliation is God's first priority. Make it priority #1.
Don't command, appeal. Paul, the apostle, endowed with great wisdom and spiritual authority isn't commanding them to agree. He's appealing to them--NKJ has "pleading"--to come together.
You can't command people to agree. Not at home. Not at work. Not in the church. Just try these on for size:
-You don't like your beans? Eat them anyway!
-You believe your husband's insensitive? Your wife's a nag? I command you to come together!
-You are Calvinist? You're Arminian? No big deal!
-You believe in Spiritual gifts? You don't? Forget about it!
-You believe in NIV? You believe in KJV? Nonsense!
It's not that easy, is it? You can't command unity.
When you appeal, you show respect for your adversary, who was born of the same Spirit and washed in the blood of the same Christ.
When you appeal, you exercise the same Spirit-powered self-control the Scriptures tell us of: (See Gal 5:23; 2Peter 1:6).
You can't command. You must respectfully appeal. And you'll be amazed at the difference in the response you get.
When you appeal, you must do more than be a cheerleader for unity.
You must give a basis for agreement. And that's the essence of 1 Corinthians. In point after point, Paul builds them a solid foundation for doctrinal, procedural, and practical unity.
If we were to go through the entire book of 1Corinthians together, you'd see that throughout the book, Paul is coming alongside these women and men, giving them a basis for unity. Giving them something they can hang their hat on.
- ch 1-4 - He fights the factionalism and cliquishness by giving a proper perspective on the ministers of the gospel and the gospel itself.
- ch 5 - He directs them to be uncompromising in dealing with the sin in their midst
- ch 6 - don't go to non-Christians to solve your problems
- ch 7 - answering their question about marriage/singleness
- ch 8-11 - Christian liberty - being a Christian in a corrupt culture
- ch 12-14 - Getting Spiritual gifts right
- ch 15 - The reality of the resurrection
- ch 16 - Money for the needy
You can't just pray for unity. Did you know that Paul never tells that conflicted church that they need to pray for unity. Oh, we must pray. In Jesus' high priestly prayer in John 17, our Lord prayed and asked the Father twice to unite us. But the only true way we can achieve unity is by understanding each other and by sharing common ground. (As the prophet Amos asks, (Amos 3:3) Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?)
Work through the issues. Two Christian brothers were on the same committee in our church, but they didn't see things the same way at all. One thought we needed more order. The other thought we needed more spirit. Initially, things were strained between them. But they valued their mission and each other so highly that they made a commitment to each other and they invested time together. By spending time together, they were experiencing the kind of fellowship and communion that the New Testament calls koinonia. Those brothers discovered first-hand this principle: koinonia cures conflict. After a time, these two men had gained a real respect for each other, and genuine appreciation for the other's viewpoint.
Even though it's hard, we must strive for unity. If we don't even try, then we besmirch the gospel of Christ, and we're no better at heart than bickering children or even Muslim extremists. But, as Christians, we are intrinsically different creatures! (2Corinthians 5:21) We are called to be saints. We are set apart. Citizens of the Heavenly Kingdom. Servants of the Most High God. If my adversary and I are both Christians, the Spirit of Christ dwells in my adversary as well as me!
It's not just about first century Christians.
The kingdom of Christ is all about repentance and heart-change. "Repent" was Christ's first command to us (Matthew 4:17). Repenting means making a course-correction back toward God. It's a fresh submission to His Law, His Word. Have you had a heart change lately? If it has been a while since you faced an issue and found that you might just be part of the problem, let me say as lovingly as I know how, you are part of the problem. Even the apostles didn't rule out the possibility that they might be the one who was about to betray Jesus (Matthew 26:21-22). If you won't even seriously consider that you might be in the wrong, you are part of the problem.
Or rather, you have been part of the problem. Today is a new day. Today, things can be different. Today, you can regard your neighbor with a fresh perspective. Today, you can be a peacemaker. Today, you can make a difference for the kingdom of Christ.
For heaven's sake, then, engage!
-Husband, are you having trouble with your wife? Engage! I appeal to you, I plead with you to take your wife out to lunch and engage! Let there be no divisions among you. What God has joined together, let not man or woman fracture.
-Teen, please, respectfully go to your parents and engage! You can begin to build that bridge.
You may say, "I'm not in conflict." That's terrific! Please be proactive. It's easier to prevent the milk from spilling than to clean up afterward. Every week, we find ourselves sitting shoulder to shoulder with people who feel isolated. And that's conflict just waiting to happen. Will you be a peacemaker and fold them in? Right after each service, invest in getting to know someone. Include them in your life. And, in your Bible study groups, make every effort to make your guests feel at home, feel like they matter to you. Not only is it true that koinonia cures conflict; koinonia prevents conflict.
Will it work? / Did it work?
Doubtless, many of the Corinthians followed Paul's advice. A couple years later, we get a report card: 2 Corinthians. If you read that book, you'll see that the Corinthians were a work in progress. The word "conflict" only occurs one time in 2 Corinthians (2Cor 12:20). So the moral of the story is, it's worthwhile, even vital, to address conflict. And as long as we're on this planet, surrounded by people with different perspectives, continually taking care of conflict is just going to be a part of life. But, oh, it's worth it.
Will you decide now to deal with your conflict, to make that a priority? In addition to praying about it, what will be the next step you take? How will you begin to build that bridge to the person you're in conflict with? A phone call or text inviting them to coffee? If you don't know what to do next, let's talk about it.
With Paul, I appeal to you, whatever you do, take care of it!
It's your move.
