The parable of the 10 virgins (Matthew 25:1-13)

We want everything that has to do with this life and our eternal destiny to have a happy ending. In Matthew 24-25, Jesus is describing the end of the world to his disciples in response to their question: "What will be the sign of Your coming and of the end of the age?" (Mt. 24:3) He describes signs leading up to His return (war, earthquake, false religion, abounding lawlessness, business as usual), and the scene of His arrival "coming on the clouds of heaven with power and great glory." Jesus said that just as no one knew when Noah's flood would occur, there will be no warning before His return, and that we are simply to be ready (v. 44).

Then Jesus tells the parable of the ten virgins in Matthew 25:1-13. It doesn't have a happy ending. The bridegroom was delayed, so the five unprepared bridesmaids end up locked out and completely miss the wedding! The groom shouts through the door, "Sorry, I don't know you!" What's going on here? Let's think about it.

Weddings, New Testament-Style

(From Chuck Swindoll, Clearing the High Hurdle of Unpreparedness)

• The groom is central, not the bride.
• The groom's family, possibly even the groom himself, pays for the wedding.
• The marriage process is in 4 stages:
1. Engagement - as children, arranged by the parents
2. Betrothal - at 12-18 yrs old.
• legal and binding
• unfaithfulness during this phase = adultery
• death during this phase = widowhood
• lasts about 12 mo's.
• a permanent, firm, arrangement
3. Ceremony - the groom takes the bride
• marriage is at his or his father's house
• the virgins are bridesmaids / the bride's friends
• The groom came whenever he wanted to. The people never knew the day nor the hour.
  When the door is closed, no one is permitted entry.
4. Honeymoon - a 7-10 day feast w/ riddles, games

Questions to consider:

• Why ten virgins? Why not just two: one wise and one foolish? Ans: This is a big wedding feast. Also, it's easier for a listener to think of herself/himself as one of ten rather than one of two.
• Were they ten separate virgins located in different places, or were they in two groups? Ans: They were all individuals. I've found that God doesn't count by groups, but by ones.
• Why didn't the wise virgins invite the foolish to go with them in the light of their own lamps? Ans: That may be like a modern bridesmaid attempting to participate in the wedding without the matching dress or bouquet.
• Why didn't the foolish try to make their way to the wedding without lamps? Ans: That'd be like a modern bridesmaid traveling by air and making it to the wedding, but her luggage didn't make it.
• Why is it wise to have extra oil? Ans: Because you don't know when the groom's return will occur.
• So, which is better, being late to the wedding because you're take care of last-minute preparations, or being on time for the wedding but unprepared?
• What disqualified the 5 virgins from participating in the wedding?
  • Not denying the groom.
  • Not forgetting lamps (they had lamps).
  • Not going to sleep (else the other virgins would've been disqualified, too). As you await the coming of the Lord, it's OK to sleep. We're not in some frenzy, waiting.
  • They failed to be ready for an indefinite delay.
• This parable is speaking of the kingdom of heaven and about being ready for the return of the Lord Jesus Christ. What does it mean to be personally ready for His return?
• Saved (this is enough to get to heaven, but the Lord also wants us fruitful, John 15:16)
• Anticipating His return at any time (see 2P 3:14)
• Being a good steward (see Mt 24:45-46ff)

The coming of the Lord is 2000 years nearer than it has ever been. And, in a sense, even if the Lord's return is another thousand years away, our own personal journey of life will end with the coming of the Lord. Are you ready? Acknowledge Jesus Christ as Savior and Master. Prepare for His return.

My stem cell pre-test days

I'm getting ready to undergo an autologous stem cell transplant (the kind of transplant where the patient donates his own cells for later implantation). I had several appointments over the course of two days at Vanderbilt in order to figure out how my lymphoma is responding to the preparatory chemotherapy, to determine if I am healthy enough to have a stem cell transplant, and to establish baselines.

I was very grateful to have my precious wife with me throughout. She's a trooper. She schlepped all the papers and took notes and made sure we got home safely.

On day 1 (Thursday), my first appointment was at 9:30, so we ate breakfast and left home by 6:40. (Nothing else to eat until after the bone marrow biopsy.) With a detour for construction, we got there just in time for the 9:30 appointment. This appointment was with an insurance specialist who had done the research and knows that BC/BS will pay for the treatment with some copays and deductible, but won't pay for lodging during the 40-day treatment time. Vanderbilt has free lodging if we can get in, so maybe the lodging won't be a problem, either.

Our second appointment was with the social worker, who asked questions about the family, and whether I was ever depressed. She wanted to be sure I had a caregiver and a backup caregiver. She gave us a DVD that describes the stem cell process from a logistics perspective. We signed up Leilani as the primary caregiver, but we still need to find backup caregivers.

Backup caregiver job description: provide relief to the main caregiver for two days in a row so she can get rest and take care of things at home, or in case she gets sick. Live in the apartment with me and provide company, transportation to/from the hospital and accompany me to all my appointments; monitor for signs of fever and call/transport to hospital; take care of all needs in the apartment (meals, cleaning). (Apartment is furnished with kitchen, TV, wifi.) I should be able to dress and bathe myself, and I probably won't be throwing up thanks to powerful anti-nausea drugs. You can bring a laptop and do work while you wait with/for me at the hospital, but wifi and 3G are limited.

Next was a CXR - chest x-ray. Quick and painless.

Last appointment for the day was a bone marrow biopsy (BMBX). I was hungry all day because of this appointment (because of the sedation). They do BMBX differently at Vandy than they did at Huntsville. They only use "moderate sedation," meaning a smaller dose of Versed. Perhaps if they had waited a little longer for the Versed to take effect it might've gone better. I didn't feel a thing as I lay on my stomach and they prepped and numbed the top of my hip. But I groaned aloud as they actually extracted bone marrow three times, each time the nurse saying "I'm sorry." The pain lasted only for the second or two that they were actually extracting the marrow. Then I fell asleep. About 30 minutes later, they plopped me into a wheelchair, gave me extra-strength Tylenol, and handed me over to Leilani, who wheeled me to the door. I was able to walk with her the rest of the way to the car n the parking garage.

We had pricelined a Hampton Inn just a couple miles from the hospital. Usually $180/night, we got it for $50. (After taxes and mandatory parking fee, it was more like $90.) Thank you to our generous friends who gave us money to pay for such things. We strolled in the cold and slight drizzle to the nearby Joe's Crab Shack (the sedation had worn off so I was sore but practically normal). Since I had a PET scan the next day, I had to have low-carb food, so I ate a Cobb salad without avocado and with snow crab legs. It was good, but Leilani's crab nachos looked and smelled better. To our friends, thanks again!

Day 2 (Friday)

[Turned on the TV and saw the Japanese earthquake news. Oh God, have mercy!]

Breakfast (no carbs!) at the glorious free breakfast buffet at Hampton. I had to pass up everything but the eggs and sausage. No waffle. No yogurt. No juice. At least Leilani got to enjoy the treat. Nothing else for me to eat or drink until after the PET scan.

First appointment at 9:30 was pulmonary function test (PFT). (Leilani dropped me off so she could drive over and check out the Hospitality House lodging.) Some of the chemo drugs they use in stem cell transplant could have lung toxicities, so they needed to get this baseline. I sat in a chair with a clip on my nose and breathed through my mouth into this snorkel-like mouthpiece attached to a machine that measured my air capacity and chemistry.They had me to inhale as deeply as I could, and exhale as deeply as I could. That was remarkably hard work!

Next was labs. The nurse put in an IV and drew about 20 vials of blood.

Next appointment was with the stem cell nurse practitioner, Katie. She asked all the background questions and provided us with a draft calendar of events. Assuming that the PET scan I have this afternoon shows good progress, we start the stem cell process on 3/23 and go until about 5/11.

The stem cell process. The first week, they give me drugs to put my bones into overdrive and produce more stem cells. Then they harvest those stem cells from my blood through apheresis and freeze them for later. A few days later, they give me high-dose chemo for four days straight, then they let me rest a day and then they inject my stem cells back in. For the first two weeks, my blood will be weak-no white cells, low platelets, low everything. But then the stem cells will just automatically know where to go and they'll "engraft" and restart my immune system. I'll probably need blood transfusions during this time.

We then met Dr. Jagasia, one of Vandy's six stem cell transplant doctors. He said we're looking at about a 40% chance of cure through this process, depending on what today's PET scan shows. Chances are  better if the PET scan shows little or no activity. Honestly, I don't like those odds, but this treatment is my best option.

Next was an echo cardiogram. It's an ultrasound of the heart that took about 30 minutes. He imaged each of my heart's valves and measured my heart's ejection fraction, a measure of the heart's ability to squeeze.

Last was the all-important PET scan. After injecting radioactive sugar, I rested in a recliner for about an hour. Then they scanned me in the machine, looking for where I might be glowing. That got done at 5:00.

Leilani drove us to the nearest Cracker Barrel on our way home. Thanks again to our generous friends!

We got home at about 8:30 Friday night.

How to visit someone in the hospital

It's almost always a good thing to visit your friend when they're in the hospital. If you're asking yourself, "Should I go visit or not?" just go ahead and do it! It's good for the patient and it's good for you, even if it means a stretch outside of your comfort zone. (On the other hand, if you barely know the patient, or you really don't want to visit, don't.)

Different hospital patients have different needs. Rest is usually one of them, so it's important for visits to be relaxing and enjoyable for the patient.

Before you go, there's nothing wrong with praying: "Lord, bless our time together. As we talk, open our eyes to ways we can encourage and help..." You are helping already by showing very tangibly that you care. Other needs may surface during your visit.

• Plan to keep your visit short. 30 minutes is usually plenty of time. If you find you're staying longer, suggest that you should leave and wait for the patient to insist that you stay longer. And if the conversation flags after 15 minutes, or the patient drops off to sleep, you don't have to stay the rest of the time.
• If you are a praying person, plan to pray with the patient. Tell them so early in the visit: "We just wanted to see how you were doing, let you know what's going on in the outside world and pray with you. Would that be alright?"
• Sample introductory lines when you arrive at the patient's room:
• Hey, how you feeling? 
• OK for us to visit with you for a few minutes? You're not feeling too tired, sick? You don't have a procedure coming up in the next few minutes? 
• Please don't feel like you have to entertain guests. If you need to rest, just let us know.
• Can we refill your water? get you a soda? (Nurses and techs do this, but sometimes they could use a hand.) Did you know they have popsicles here! and juices (orange, apple, etc).
• Scripture pictures/cards are lasting encouragement after you go. Bring scotch tape and see if you can find a place to put one up that's within the patient's range.
• A small number of snacks, both sweet and salty, help with munchies for the patient or their family. Single-serving size is best. mini rice cakes, pretzels, cheese&crackers, chips, cheetos. (Crumbs are bad.) If you do snacks, a small thing of handiwipes would also be helpful.
• If you see debris around, you can just throw it away: wrappers, tape, etc.
• If you go to the trouble of going to the patient's room, but they're asleep or out of the room for some reason, it's great to leave a note. Coordinate with the nurse about the best place to put it.
• If you have a chance to call ahead before your visit, ask if there's anything the patient wants/needs that you can bring by. A magazine? a DVD? handouts from last night's Bible study/business meeting? a newspaper? A forgotten item from home.

Too many suggestions for one post! It all boils down to this. Just go. Be natural. Be brief. Love your friend. That's what it's all about.

R-ICE chemotherapy

The first time I had chemo, they gave me R-CHOP. This time they're giving my R-ICE. It's an acronym for the medicines they use in the therapy. One nice thing about R-ICe is that none of the drugs are vessicants -- drugs that burn your veins.

The way they do this chemo varies from place to place. Here's how they are doing it for me. Unlike R-CHOP, R-ICE takes 3-4 days to administer each time.

Day 1: Rituximab / Rituxin - First, they gave me some IV Benadryl, which made me cough (ironic) and then made me very loopy. After 30 minutes, they started the Rituxin. Since I'd had it before as part of my previous chemo, they thought they could give it to me this time at a higher rate, but it gave me a very scratchy throat. They gave me another antihistamine and then really slowed down the Rituxin, so that it took well into the night for this to finish. The scratchy throat problem totally resolved.

Day 2 (today): Etoposide - Premeds for this are anti-vomiting drugs: Zofran and Decadrol. The etoposide will take about an hour to infuse.

Day 3 (tomorrow): Etoposide, Ifosfamide, Carboplatin

I'm getting a lot of Ifosfamide. It'll take ~24 hours to administer. Ifosfamide is given along with Mesna, which is a drug that specifically fights a side effect of Ifosfamide that irritates the bladder. Another interesting side effect that occurs about 20% of the time is CNS (central nervous system) effects. Namely, moodiness, confusion, hallucinations. This only about 3 days. If you see me acting more strangely than normal, let me know.

Carboplatin is a platinum-based drug. Studies have shown that carboplatin often has the side effect of causing some hearing loss in 10 to 15 years. They'll be watching my platelets as well. There's no such thing as a platelet booster drug, so if my platelets get too low,

Day 4 (Saturday): Etoposide. I should be home by lunch time.

Post-treatment: I don't know what the plan is yet. Could be Neulasta and Emend. I'll keep you posted.

Of course, I'm expecting all my hair to fall out in the next couple weeks. That's a side effect of all three drugs in ICE.

Parable of the Bratty Toddler

I know a bratty toddler. He can be sweet, but he's usually ungrateful, disobedient, wasteful, and thinks the world revolves around him. It pains me to be around him.

This episode really happened.
Dad: You better do what the boss [meaning Mom] says!
Boy: I am the boss!
Dad: No, you're not!
Me (to myself): Yes, he very clearly is. Dad saying his son's not the boss doesn't make it so.

If only those parents would realize that they've got to win in those head-to-head's with their son. Good news: "It's never too late to start doing what's right."

Now the parable part. Next time you see a brat, consider him a mirror of your own soul.

Bratty behavior makes people unlovely. It's bratty to celebrate Someone's birthday by refusing to say his name, but eating his food, drinking his wine, breathing his air, and going around with a sense of entitlement to more, more, more.

At Christmas time, God sent His Son to save brats. Not toddlers who are under-guided by their parents, but full-grown brats who think they've got it all figured out on their own without God, thank you very much.

But if I could see through my delusion, I'd marvel that, instead of the doom that every brat deserves, Christ came to offer me a new home. With Him. Because He loves me. Even though I'm unlovely.

"God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8)

Merry Christmas, fellow brats!

P.S. It's also bratty to resent it when someone presumes to correct me.

What is obedience?

How's this for a definition of obedience:
obedience = whole-hearted compliance with the wishes of the one in authority, even if you don't appreciate or understand them, out of respect or love for the one in authority.

• whole-hearted: even if your mind disagrees, but because of your loyalty and respect, you act as required
• wishes of the one in authority: not merely the words, finding loop-holes, doing the bare minimum
• even if you don't appreciate: even if you disagree. In fact, obedience is greater when your personal will and preferred choice is different from the one in authority
• out of respect or love: this is the ground for obedience, not understanding the wishes

Additional concepts:

• If the authority commands us to do something illegal or immoral, we don't have to do it.
• Abraham sacrificing Isaac -- if someone other than God had commanded Abraham, that would've been abhorrent.
• Uriah obeyed David -- fully trusting him, and he died for it. He was betrayed by his authority. Parents should never do that. God will never do that.
• Pharaoh refused to obey the LORD (Exodus 5:2) because he had on respect for Him.
• If we're not convinced that the direction given came from the one in authority, obedience is very hard.
• Disobedience == rebellion.
• Slow obedience == disobedience == rebellion

Pharisees and Tax Collectors

We began studying the three-part parable of the Lost Sheep, the Lost Coin, and the Lost Sons, found in Luke 15 of the Bible's New Testament. At the end of the hour, the homework assignment was to think about, "What was it about Jesus that attracted the untouchables and repelled the respectables?"

Jesus had told this parable because the tax collectors and sinners were coming to hear him, and the scribes and Pharisees were offended that Jesus didn't just shoo them away.

We probably would have been offended, too.

Tax collectors were wealthy tax farmers who were considered traitors by their fellow Jews. Tax collectors bought the right to tax a certain region. And like the mafia or loan sharks, they extorted taxes from the citizens at whatever interest rate they chose. And the Roman army was at their disposal to make sure they got paid.

Sinners were folks that you could easily recognize as sinners, like prostitutes or pig farmers.

Pharisees were generally good people. What's funny is, they were known more for their religion, their Jewish denomination, than for their vocation or where they're from. That's because they were loud about their religion. When we wear t-shirts or ties with Christian messages, or long denim dresses and no make-up, we are loud about our religion, too. Soon, our religiousness becomes the first thing people think of about us.

Pharisees were all about externals: what they did and did not do. Externals are so easy to measure, and to succeed, and to judge others about. Externals are not what faith is about. They're just markers. Jesus said the Pharisees weren't getting it. "Unless your righteousness exceeds the righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven" (Matt. 5:20).

That's because they were focusing on the wrong things. "The kingdom of God is not eating and drinking, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.  [Whoever] serves Christ in these things is acceptable to God and approved by men" (Rom 14:17-18).

At the Pharisees' outrage that Jesus receives sinners and eats with them, he told this parable. Join us as we discover together what Jesus is teaching through it: Parables for ThirtySomethings, Sunday mornings at Southside at 8:45.